Splurged and had my first professional pedicure (a.k.a. little piece of heaven). The massage was awesome. I could use a full body massage though, my back is so tight.

Really stressed about money issues, not sure how i'm going to manage the next month or so. Damn student loans. I wonder if I can defer them again. Probably not . . . I need to start growing that money tree in the backyard or start doing something more devious : ) Yuck! I really want to avoid even looking at my nonexistant account. Ignorance is bliss : ). Must take more subbing assignments and spend less. Honestly, I really am not a spender. I am definitely more of a saver, but I have run through my savings paying bills.

School called about a temp position they have available and I now have an interview on Friday. Doesn't look to be a great school, but I am now desperate. I really should have taken the last position offered to me, but. . . too late, I froze. Partially because the school brought back bad memories and partially because it was happening too fast. I don't do well when things are flung at me high speed. I tend to shut down. Maybe it is my way of trying to hold onto that security blanket. Anyway, the school needed references. Particularly one from my current employer, which I really don't think they have the right to ask for because I am currently with them. I told the secretary this, but it didn't fly and she finagled the info out of me. I really hope I don't get shit for it. I should not have given the info out.

Subed yesterday for a fifth grade class in the great p hills area. It was only a half day, but thank god! Very rowdy group! I'm not sure how their teacher survived the year. She even had some 13 year olds in the class. I understand that they are academically on the level of a 5th grader, but socially and developmentally I'm not sure it is a good idea to have students with such a broad age range in the same class. We had good moments, but the last 30 min or so was torture. Even *Bribery* was uneffective. Subs are greatly underpaid as are teachers. Lately, I wish I could go back to school and redo it. I think I would become a pharmacist or something. I guess every profession has its downfalls, but i'm not so sure . . .

Feeling the urge to go on a tropical vacation. Omg, that would be pure bliss. Spending days sipping icy drinks in front of a secluded blue ocean, like a corona add. But for now, I really need to get some housework done before work . . .


"You look so fine
I want to break your heart
And give you mine
You're taking me over

It's so insane
You've got me tethered and chained
I hear your name
And I'm falling over"

-Garbage