it's as if you read my mind
i hope there is a cure
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
feeling good right now
watching the office
brushed up the resume
have a few positions i'm applying to
warm and tingley
reevaluating my goals
fiona's voice
eggplant parmesan
having difficulty going to sleep lately
craving company/independence
car needs fixing before it blows up on me
my face hates me
no more subbing
watching the office
brushed up the resume
have a few positions i'm applying to
warm and tingley
reevaluating my goals
fiona's voice
eggplant parmesan
having difficulty going to sleep lately
craving company/independence
car needs fixing before it blows up on me
my face hates me
no more subbing
Saturday, May 23, 2009
cabernet, warm wonderful feeling *draining the last glass from the bottle, damn, need to make a run*
"why do you let me stay here all by myself ?"
'rents off in D.C. , babysitting the sibs, no major incidents thus far, although curious as to what the bro was doin' all friday @ friends house. Need to do a clean up before Monday night return.
Busy few days. Thursday included dropping 'rents off at airport @ 6am, Subbing all day, and working till 9. Worked all day friday and part of saturday. I'm still on an adrenaline/lack of sleep rush.
I don't even mind the rain lately.
Lovin' A Day to Remember
Maybe that's what I need, some purpose, or enjoyment; to feel alive. Ha, how corny does that sound. Much too serious/tense lately, need to relax. Can you stand on your head?
washer broke.
Teaching Chris to drive is more nerve racking than teaching Heather. While Chris has a more solid baseline than heather did, he is more of a jokester and I have my doubts about his following instruction, lol.
Convos with my sister ♥, so similar, but yet so different.
In the mood for a good book.
"Hey you there, I see you over there, I want u to come here"
"why do you let me stay here all by myself ?"
'rents off in D.C. , babysitting the sibs, no major incidents thus far, although curious as to what the bro was doin' all friday @ friends house. Need to do a clean up before Monday night return.
Busy few days. Thursday included dropping 'rents off at airport @ 6am, Subbing all day, and working till 9. Worked all day friday and part of saturday. I'm still on an adrenaline/lack of sleep rush.
I don't even mind the rain lately.
Lovin' A Day to Remember
Maybe that's what I need, some purpose, or enjoyment; to feel alive. Ha, how corny does that sound. Much too serious/tense lately, need to relax. Can you stand on your head?
washer broke.
Teaching Chris to drive is more nerve racking than teaching Heather. While Chris has a more solid baseline than heather did, he is more of a jokester and I have my doubts about his following instruction, lol.
Convos with my sister ♥, so similar, but yet so different.
In the mood for a good book.
"Hey you there, I see you over there, I want u to come here"
Friday, May 15, 2009
MMmmm.... White chocolate coconut creamer, like heaven in my mouth
"Oh baby baby If You Seek Amy tonight
Oh Oh baby baby We'll do whatever you like"
I slept like a log last night. In fact, I woke up this morning to find that I still had by bedside lamp on and a book lying open next to me *thinking i would just rest my eyes a bit*. It was everything I wanted it to be, lol. I was ms. zombie yesterday. An extra long day combined with 2 hours sleep didn't agree with me. I ran out of gas and was puttering to the finish. But I did run into a teacher who happened to be the mother of someone I went to high school with . . . such a small world.
"I wanna kiss you But if i do then i might miss you, babe
It's complicated and stupid Got my ass squeezed by sexy cupid
Guess he wants to play, wants to play
A love game, a love game"
"Oh baby baby If You Seek Amy tonight
Oh Oh baby baby We'll do whatever you like"
I slept like a log last night. In fact, I woke up this morning to find that I still had by bedside lamp on and a book lying open next to me *thinking i would just rest my eyes a bit*. It was everything I wanted it to be, lol. I was ms. zombie yesterday. An extra long day combined with 2 hours sleep didn't agree with me. I ran out of gas and was puttering to the finish. But I did run into a teacher who happened to be the mother of someone I went to high school with . . . such a small world.
"I wanna kiss you But if i do then i might miss you, babe
It's complicated and stupid Got my ass squeezed by sexy cupid
Guess he wants to play, wants to play
A love game, a love game"
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Sweet Distraction
I'm avoiding all productivity at the moment. Sweet distraction. *shuffling through itunes library* "I'm lost without you, Can't help myself, How does it feel? To know that I love ya baby" I had a nice cinco de mayo get together last night, which included 'ritas and tex mex. A little too much of both, lol. It's funny all the teacher I've met are going back to school or want to go back to do something else; something that makes more money and is hopefully less stressful. Hmm, not a good sign. If I could choose another profession, what would I choose? Join J on OBT or a webcam, lol? God, its so depressing. I don't know where I fit in. "Beautiful disaster, flyin' down the street again."
Anyway . . .
O, I got a call from my great aunt the other day. My aunt and uncle are getting older and are now going to sell their NC summer home and permanently stay in their Clearwater home. She wanted to let me know what was stipulated in her will, which I think is a very good idea to have prepared ahead of time and talked about (especially since my family seems to get screwed out of things). I can tell my aunt is disappointed she can't leave much for my biological father and aunt because of their problems. She told me that at one point she had given my aunt a family ring, which she sold (probably for drug/alcohol money).
"I want to fuck you like an animal, I want to feel you from the inside, I want to fuck you like an animal, My whole existence is flawed, You get me closer to god"
I loved my grandmother, but I always wondered how she had two children who both ended up with addiction problems. I haven't seen either of them since I was in high school. I did get a letter a few years ago from him, based on my mother's suggestion, which just appologizes for everything. I never responded, but I think my sister and brother have. Maybe it's completely selfish, but is it wrong to feel completely nothing? My sister takes the opposite stand and is angry, my brother just looks at it like water under the bridge, but I pretend the whole thing didn't happen.
"Cause I'm, just Marshall Mathers
And if you wanna run your mouth
then come take your best shot at me"
I know this is strange, but I love feather pillows. Not only the irresistable fluffiness that beckons you to snuggle with it, but the smell. Yes, I said smell. I don't even know how to describe the smell of a feather pillow, except that it incites comfort. This is particularly true for a well worn feather pillow. I know this may sounds weird, especially coming from one of the few people that believe sneezes have a smell to them. I swear they do! I know I'm not the only one who can smell them!
Omg, I came across something I wrote during my theater days when I was cooped up in a glass box for 5 to 6 hours by myself. LOL, completely emo, but it was meant to be ... The clouds blanketed the sky like a field of snow. However, this gray day couldn't match her sorrow. Days slipped by unnoticed. As if time ceased to exist. At first, the loss was unbelievable, but slowly the meaning sunk into her bones and petrified her heart. Quietly in solitude, a rivulet of tears ran from her eyes and over her nose, as if her face displayed a small waterfall. The exterior would not know her sorrow - hidden beneath the faux smile and arched brows. Only in solitude, would she love her sorrow.
Even better is Urb dic's definition of emo, ha:
girlfriend: C'mon, lets have sex.
boyfriend: I'm too sad to have sex.
girlfriend: I'm sad too; lets have sex and cry.
boyfriend: I'm already crying.
I've been exploring CL lately. You really can find anything on there. But seriously people, who wants to buy your falling apart crap? Give it up. I love reading through the missed connect. portion though. Some are too cute, others just plain scary. Tell me what I was wearing, so I know it's you, lol.
Btw, my sister is graduating from UCF this saturday! Crazy, I know! I feel so old, lol!
"You’re so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal
You’re so skinny you should really Super Size the deal
Secretly you’re so amused That nobody understands you
You're so gay and you don't even like boys"
Anyway . . .
O, I got a call from my great aunt the other day. My aunt and uncle are getting older and are now going to sell their NC summer home and permanently stay in their Clearwater home. She wanted to let me know what was stipulated in her will, which I think is a very good idea to have prepared ahead of time and talked about (especially since my family seems to get screwed out of things). I can tell my aunt is disappointed she can't leave much for my biological father and aunt because of their problems. She told me that at one point she had given my aunt a family ring, which she sold (probably for drug/alcohol money).
"I want to fuck you like an animal, I want to feel you from the inside, I want to fuck you like an animal, My whole existence is flawed, You get me closer to god"
I loved my grandmother, but I always wondered how she had two children who both ended up with addiction problems. I haven't seen either of them since I was in high school. I did get a letter a few years ago from him, based on my mother's suggestion, which just appologizes for everything. I never responded, but I think my sister and brother have. Maybe it's completely selfish, but is it wrong to feel completely nothing? My sister takes the opposite stand and is angry, my brother just looks at it like water under the bridge, but I pretend the whole thing didn't happen.
"Cause I'm, just Marshall Mathers
And if you wanna run your mouth
then come take your best shot at me"
I know this is strange, but I love feather pillows. Not only the irresistable fluffiness that beckons you to snuggle with it, but the smell. Yes, I said smell. I don't even know how to describe the smell of a feather pillow, except that it incites comfort. This is particularly true for a well worn feather pillow. I know this may sounds weird, especially coming from one of the few people that believe sneezes have a smell to them. I swear they do! I know I'm not the only one who can smell them!
Omg, I came across something I wrote during my theater days when I was cooped up in a glass box for 5 to 6 hours by myself. LOL, completely emo, but it was meant to be ... The clouds blanketed the sky like a field of snow. However, this gray day couldn't match her sorrow. Days slipped by unnoticed. As if time ceased to exist. At first, the loss was unbelievable, but slowly the meaning sunk into her bones and petrified her heart. Quietly in solitude, a rivulet of tears ran from her eyes and over her nose, as if her face displayed a small waterfall. The exterior would not know her sorrow - hidden beneath the faux smile and arched brows. Only in solitude, would she love her sorrow.
Even better is Urb dic's definition of emo, ha:
girlfriend: C'mon, lets have sex.
boyfriend: I'm too sad to have sex.
girlfriend: I'm sad too; lets have sex and cry.
boyfriend: I'm already crying.
I've been exploring CL lately. You really can find anything on there. But seriously people, who wants to buy your falling apart crap? Give it up. I love reading through the missed connect. portion though. Some are too cute, others just plain scary. Tell me what I was wearing, so I know it's you, lol.
Btw, my sister is graduating from UCF this saturday! Crazy, I know! I feel so old, lol!
"You’re so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal
You’re so skinny you should really Super Size the deal
Secretly you’re so amused That nobody understands you
You're so gay and you don't even like boys"
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
It's so Diculous, it's Ridiculous
Good morning! I'm enjoying a nice cup of black coffee and some a.m. internet time. I've decided to take the day off today, even though I shouldn't. What shall I do? There are so many possibilities? Hmm. I wish I could share the day with someone. Yes, I live in a house full of people, but when they're gone I don't know what to do with myself. "Now that you've got it, what you gonna do about it"
Last night was interesting. My sister decided to run away for a bit. Yep, she thought she was sneaky by locking her bedroom door and slipping out the window. Teenage girls. I'm glad I was never one, lol, or rather not a crazy one. I think back to my teenage years and realize that I am much the same as I am now. I didn't have a rebellious stage. I didn't ask for much and I can predict my parents actions well. I know that each choice has a consequence that you must abide by so I picked my options wisely. My parents are more than fair. Anyway, the whole ordeal lasted only a couple hours at most and we were in bed by 11. Just gets me thinking that if I ever did have children, would I survive the teenage years, lol. Although the way things are going, I won't have to worry about it.
Hung out with W,N, and B last weekend and had a good time . . . dinner, movie, and drinks at a fun latin club in downtown disney. Hope to repeat this experience in the near future.
"To see you when I wake up Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do Is a three-fold, Utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said I miss you"
My parents now own a time share in Ormond.
Have actually been dreaming lately. I usually never remember my dreams but the past two nights I have. Maybe it's because I have been going to bed without distraction lately. I usually have the t.v. going or something to drowned out those thoughts. I don't believe dreams really mean anything. Sure If you are worried or obsessing about something elements of that will make its way into your dreams. Well, if you want to look at it that way then yes, dreams do provide some insight into the dreamers thinking and feelings. Anyway, isn't it strange that a dream could be so clear and then on your way to the bathroom you remember that it was an interesting dream or one that you want to remember but it is wiped clean from your memory? Although most of the dreams I remember center around some type of tragedy.
"So be my massacre, be my masochist, be my tease
Cause you captivate me when you stand in front of me"
-Evans Blue
Last night was interesting. My sister decided to run away for a bit. Yep, she thought she was sneaky by locking her bedroom door and slipping out the window. Teenage girls. I'm glad I was never one, lol, or rather not a crazy one. I think back to my teenage years and realize that I am much the same as I am now. I didn't have a rebellious stage. I didn't ask for much and I can predict my parents actions well. I know that each choice has a consequence that you must abide by so I picked my options wisely. My parents are more than fair. Anyway, the whole ordeal lasted only a couple hours at most and we were in bed by 11. Just gets me thinking that if I ever did have children, would I survive the teenage years, lol. Although the way things are going, I won't have to worry about it.
Hung out with W,N, and B last weekend and had a good time . . . dinner, movie, and drinks at a fun latin club in downtown disney. Hope to repeat this experience in the near future.
"To see you when I wake up Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do Is a three-fold, Utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said I miss you"
My parents now own a time share in Ormond.
Have actually been dreaming lately. I usually never remember my dreams but the past two nights I have. Maybe it's because I have been going to bed without distraction lately. I usually have the t.v. going or something to drowned out those thoughts. I don't believe dreams really mean anything. Sure If you are worried or obsessing about something elements of that will make its way into your dreams. Well, if you want to look at it that way then yes, dreams do provide some insight into the dreamers thinking and feelings. Anyway, isn't it strange that a dream could be so clear and then on your way to the bathroom you remember that it was an interesting dream or one that you want to remember but it is wiped clean from your memory? Although most of the dreams I remember center around some type of tragedy.
"So be my massacre, be my masochist, be my tease
Cause you captivate me when you stand in front of me"
-Evans Blue
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